Podcast Episode 96 – Speak, The Universe Listens: Cracking the Confidence Code
October 30, 2019
Greetings! This is Arvat McClaine with “Speak, The Universe Listens” - As a very young person, I always felt that I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders, having to make grown-up decisions in order to survive a life marked with physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. While my face was smiling on the outside, on the inside I always secretly cried and felt miserable. However, over the years I learned some gems that helped to turn my life around. I now get to live the life of my dreams, filled with love, travel, and wonderment. And, I am absolutely passionate about sharing what I have learned with you. If you want to live your best life, tune in each week as I, along with some amazing guests, share these life-changing gems with you. Inspired to be more, do more, have more.
ARVAT: Greetings and welcome to today's episode of “Speak, the Universe Listens”. Today's topic is Cracking the Confidence Code and we have joining us again today, Shawna Halley. She is a transformational speaker as well as an author and educator, author of three wonderful books. Thank you so much for joining us again.
SHAWNA: Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate it. It’s exciting.
ARVAT: Good thank you for coming. So cracking the confidence code, talk to us a little bit about that.
SHAWNA: Cracking the Confidence Code came about as I'm working with women, I find that one of the major things missing as far as their progress and their success, is because they don't believe in themselves. The reason they don't believe in themselves has nothing to do with their present life. It has to do with things that have happened in the past…Cracking the Confidence Code. After that is to break free from generational labels and what I call the LLC, which is the label that's been placed on us, and I'm saying ‘us’ because I'm a part of that too. I'm in the growing phase of it just like everybody else, just a different path or another position on the path, the labels that have been placed on us - about who we're supposed to be. The second L is the Luggage, the outer appearance of who we were, thought we should be, were brought up to think we should be. The other part of it is the content going back again. I'm all about the inside. I don't work so Cracking the Confidence Code is all about taking the time, the awareness that “Where I where am I? and Why am I here? not necessarily to go back into the past because sometimes going back into the past with people stuff mm-hmm so okay where am I? Where do I want to go? Then work from there. I've been listening to someone and she's always talking about a GPS and she said, “A GPS asks you where are you and it says where do you want to go?” It never says what happy being right. In working with different individuals, I find out that if we don't focus on where we're going, then we spend too much time in the past. Even looking at our present circumstances, we can't move forward at the pace, and at the time, that life is causing or pulling us towards.
ARVAT: so coming from the mental health field myself one of the things that always took umbrage with is just the amount of time that it often takes when people are in therapy. A I would always think because I know for me it did it took a long time for me to sift through things in my life and get to a place where I understood and that type of thing, but I always felt like you know “should it take that long?” and if we people are in therapy “Should it really take this long?” and I remember hearing someone I believe was Dr. Joe Dispenza and he said that “you can figure out everything that's happened in your past, but how does that change what's happening in your future?” is so very similar to what you're saying. And so what do you suggest as ways that people can rather than focus on what's going on and dig all that up and I don't think there's anything wrong with having that type of understanding of where you've been why are you thinking the way that you think why did you feel the way that you feel why are you acting in the way that you act there's nothing wrong with that and I also think that having that kind of enlightenment helps you to understand other people right so if you understand your own motivations then you can kind of understand other people's motivation so I'm not saying I don't think it's a good thing but like you mentioned getting stuck in the past and getting stuck with you know in this and that and this is kind of like reliving it and reinforcing it and re making the the neurons line up so much more strongly in the direction of everything that you don't want right so how do you suggest that people will start on their energies up differently
SHAWNA: I like to think that my focus as a transformational speaker and coach is also being a visionary. I'm able to see beyond where you are and let's create a vision together. Let's move ourselves outside of where we are now. Yes, I am where I am, but let's move ourselves outside of where we are. I find that when you start to move in the direction of your dreams and start to create the life that you want, then all of a sudden the past will come. You don't have to go back and pull it, because it will come to remind you why you don't deserve it. It will come, it will show up to remind you who you think you are. My new phase payout for phrase for that is “I am a free Goddess.” When we have a vision that pulls us into that positive direction of the life, we truly deserve and are worthy of then the past will show up. If we're doing the work, then we can tell the past, “Thank you,” because the past served us, even though at the start we don't believe that. It served us and then we just have to say like my, again I have to go back to my mentor, she said, “It will show up. If it shows up at an inappropriate time, to kind of mess with your head, then you can schedule a time to meet with it. Yeah, you can schedule saying, “Okay, this is not a good time.” It's just like a friend showing up at the time, “This is not a good time.” It's emotion. It's going to show up. “Hey, can we meet on Friday?” What that does it gives you time to come up with a solution, because where there's problem the solution is immediate. But, if you keep focusing on the problem, the solution can't come into play. When you give it a schedule, it's like a child. I tell the story talking about a child. I have four children. Of course, when a child comes to you and they want your attention, if you tell them, “Go away,” or ignore them, they will come back another way and sometimes might be it may be worse because Tantrums hollering do whatever they do slamming doors you know. That's not allowed in some households, but you know they find another way. If you address them, you say hey, “Honey, I'm doing something right now. Can I talk to you in a minute? I'll come get you or I'll be there in a few minutes” or whatever the time it needs, you need. Then that child feels recognized. Our problems are seeking recognition and once we recognize it, we have that conversation. We have the solution. So when I come to a meeting with my problem, I have a solution and that's there. That just creates space for me to work with that and again it's a cycle. It doesn't go away, but it shows up less because I don't ignore it. I embrace it. I talk to it and thank it for showing up I even say “No rehearsal today, thank you for showing up.” When I tell people that all the time it seems simplistic, but most of the things that makes our life easy are, yes, very simple. We just make it hard by thinking we have to add. Did I answer your question?
ARVAT: Yes. Cracking the Confidence Code. You were also speaking earlier about generational labels.
SHAWNA: Yes. Generational labels, we are born into families that based on socioeconomic background or religious background level, tell us what we need to be and who we need to be. As you and I know from our studies that we take, when we come into this world we may look at life like little children. We are here, we have spiritual beings that came here with a purpose and sometimes we get so stuck by the labels and then what's been poured into us as who we should be, the image of who we should be, and how we should walk and talk and do all those things that we forget our purpose. That's why a lot of times we're so unhappy because we're doing things based on what we were taught. We need to do, not based on our own in our alignment that's not aligning with our spiritual nature. Cracking the Confidence Code is being aware and starting to work on those things so you can be confident in the spiritual person, in your spiritual nature, instead of walking more fully in that. I think a lot of people fear stepping into what their actual calling is, and as you say the fear. it comes from just believing everything that you've been taught, right? Believe it we're afraid to fear from that there's plenty of support for you to stay exactly where you are yes and I believe as you do that we all have something that we're to do and that is calling us yes and that you know we're all waiting for that because everything so I know for me I always wondered like why am I even here? Like “Am I supposed to be just miserable every day of my life just get up be miserable? Work, go to sleep. right away and just really realizing that it's gotta be something else, it's gotta be something else. That awareness like it's got to be something else and saying I'm in search of it like opening that door, right? that there's something and I want to know what that something is so just just asking that question as I say speak right we'll get an answer exactly so just opening that door and allowing the answer to come and like I say most at times you realize it's been tapping you and your shoulder all the time you just weren't listening right to it and then but then some people they do hear it they know exactly what it is but then they're still afraid right yes I agree I totally agree what I love about you know the spiritual journey is that you never have to feel ashamed of mm-hmm you never have to feel you all is it's like again like you go back to just be aware and be open to where does the door leave you where is this leading mirrors is feeling leading me and be willing to go that way even if it appears the result to have a result of what we may call nothing there is something even if it's just a little bit higher awareness of okay I'm listening to my intuition I'm listening because they said go that way nothing happened but I'm learning to listen because when it tells me to go this way I go that way something will happen but it's those just learning to listen on a small really small level so the big things can show up as well yeah because if you don't listen to small thing you you can't expect the big thing right and you know I remember exercise that someone had I guess suggested like how do you hear the small things and they suggested that you do it like a game so you can play games of yourself and it's like when it's a game you don't put so much emphasis that you got to get it right so for example if you're going to elevate unless there's three elevators then you just say I think this one is gonna open first the doors will open for this one and so if the door is open to that one then it's like yes but if it doesn't this okay mm-hm but if as you practice little games like that like when the phone rings who do I think that is and so I thought yeah just start listening to your own intuition and you'll be able to hear the difference you eventually learn like okay this is the voice that I'm supposed to be listening to versus the one the ego voice I like and it's this good training is I mean I just love like I just love the moments that are showing up and just just being into you know one of the affirmations I use all the time now is that I love listening and going along with my internal guidance system because it's made such a huge difference the way I look at life you know stuff that used to bother me money now I know what to get into it was not mine to do you know instead of trying to be involving in a whole lot it's like no I'm not feeling that hmm and that's all I need to say I'm right and sometimes you know we don't know why we're not feeling it but it's not know and then later you find out yeah like you were telling me okay I'm not gonna do it now that I've seen that I'm not supposed to do it's beautiful you know and I love nature so part of unloading and unpacking the generation of labels when I'm in nature I feel a sense of oneness with life and you know when I'm in nature I'm finding myself you know just being free feeling the freedom of just I'm not afraid to die. I'm not afraid of this. I'm not looking for something to be afraid mm-hmm and I would like that the way that I would say all the time don't look for patience to the offenders you know I'm looking I'm really when I'm present and I'm working on that more myself it's just how what we can what kind of a penis or kind of joy and one of my instructors would say to what old are you leaving in the room you know what you leave are you leaving a sweet-smelling older or say and it's like working on leaving the right a rollin mm-hmm in people's in the presence of others when I come to them because I want them to know and feel loved not judge or feel like they're less than or just just be you okay with that right this field I want you to feel free in my presence and I think part of it I love him others to feel free and my presence is allowing myself to be free me.
ARVAT: I'm a big fan of nature too, and I was actually thinking about it today and just right like trying to because I always say go into nature and I'm not sure if people exactly know why like why are you going? and so as I was there today and I was noticing everything, noticing the birds and the sounds and the different types of birds at different kinds of sounds, noticing the crackling of the acorns that were under my feet, the leaves crackling and I was just noticing and when you are noticing when you're in that space of noticing what's right in front of you. It actually takes your mind off the chatter, stops in your brain. I'm not now thinking of what do I have to do today? is that the right thing to do today? how is that gonna fit? I'm not thinking about all of that stuff, I'm just present, observing, being a part of feeling my connection with it. That allows the chatter to quiet down. So it's actually a form of meditation within itself just sitting. I used to love just sitting on the cliffs and just watching the waves go in and come up. Think about or just watching ants do what ants do, or watching turtles. You just get in that flow of being present with nature and you become one with it. Then you hear things in a totally different way.
SHAWNA: Yes, you really do. Can I share a poem? But I turned it into a song. Don’t get all excited.
I'm sending love to the world
I'm sending love to the world
I'm sending love to the world
I'm sending receiving sending receiving sending receiving love
and then there's so much love in the world
I asked my angel
Oh they said
I love that flows in you also flows in me
Universal love is the breath through all take
if the air was removed, tell me what type of love with that create
so I said to my angel tell me more
they say “my dear sister let your love soar”
I said to my angel “tell me more”
deceptive my dear sister
let your love soar
so guess what I'm moved
I'm sending out to the world
sending love to the world
I'm standing, receiving, sending, receiving, sending, receiving
It actually touched my soul
That's all I have actually.
ARVAT: Very lovely. Thank you for discussing this topic. You did mention to me about how a lot of times we carry these labels that aren’t ours to carry. Did you want to say anything more about that?
SHAWNA: I always said and then I have something. Just know the labels, remembering as human beings, I know your viewers are probably male and female even though my focus is women. Sometimes we need to take ourselves off the shelf, because sometimes we're waiting on permission to be our best self, to be the Goddess that we are. I am a Goddess. I declare I'm free because when I take a look at you, you multiply me. Approval for me I seek not to incur, because the goddess in me. Love reflects and boxes in our own destiny. There's so much to do that could never be done. I want you to join me in love and laugh. Let's have some fun. I seek to build up not to destroy, because my choice today, I pray that you all and one universal self.
ARVAT: I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. I certainly did. Make sure you check me out at ArvatMcLaine.com and if you haven't done so please subscribe. Until next time.